Family Drama

Sunday, January 20, 2019            Reese and I went and talked with Bishop before church. The bishop called me to play the organ. Then he called us both to be ward missionaries. We asked him for more time for that one. We needed him to tell us everything was okay. We talked about the girls and how they had disowned us over money. We told him we had offered them money to buy out the house, but they were insulated at the price. In the end, we left feeling understood and relieved. It really was their choice, and they had made it. Of course, we will always welcome them with open arms. Here is the letter and the response we got back from them.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Dearest Tamra

Reese and I have a business proposition for you and your sisters. We hope that you will think about this long and hard before you come to a decision.

Many of Reese’s investments either have matured or are within a month or two of maturing. We need to decide what to do with his investment money. After much prayer and talking, we have come up with an offer for you and your sisters. Right now, we have enough money to buy each one of you out of the trust for the house, so that Reese and I can own our own home.

When we bought this house in LaVerkin, each of you put in $51,000 plus the $20,000 that each of you received in cash from me at the first. I put in my $110,000. Over the last 3 years Reese has put in an additional $50,000 in improvements and repairs.

With the money from Reese and his investments, we are able to offer you each $51,000 for your share in the house. We would then close the trust and Reese and I would own the deed to the house. You would each have your inheritance now to use or invest as you each see fit.

Because of the nature of investments and such, this is a time sensitive offer. If you decide this is not what you want to do, than we will invest his money and tie it all back up for another 7-10 years. But, we really want to do this, to own this house. Grandpa forced this house, trust, and division of money and it was not a good deal for any of us. We want to fix that, give you all your money and let us own our home.

We are also hoping that with the money and inheritance issue out of the way, that time and love will start to heal our family and we can all start to communicate once again. We miss you all.  

Please think about this offer. Talk to your sisters and have them think about it. If the timing is right, but something else needs to change, please let us know. We want this offer and negotiations to work out for all of us.

Love

Mom and Reese

We have finally come up with an unanimous decision regarding your offer to purchase the LaVerkin House.

However we cannot except $51,000 each, here is the breakdown of the initial trust funds.

We are willing sale the LaVerkin home to You and Reese at fair market value (pending appraisal). 

Right now comps in the area are around $315,000 (potential giving us each $100,000)

splitting the funds 3 ways between Tamra, Amber and Charity as stated in the initial trust agreement.

Grandpa and grandma intentions were for us to eventually gain the full value of the home for our inheritance, and staying with their wishes we will only take the full fair market price of the house.

	Denise	Tamy	Charity	Amber	Totals
Initial Funds	$105,287.48	$112,733.85	$112,733.85	$112,733.85	$443,489
Missionary	-$12,500	-$12,500	-$12,500	-$12,500	-$50,000
Taxes	-$18,557.6	$19,870.39	$19,870.39	$19,870.39	$78,169
Cash	-$10,319	-$20,000	-$20,000	-$20,000	-$70,319
House	$63,909	$60,363	$60,363	$60,363	$245,000

Tamy Wilson-----------------------------

I just want to add that per the trust agreement that you mentioned we were all "forced" into this deal, and that is true, however it was very clearly written out that you, mom, are to not gain at all from this house. Which means any upgrades you have done you do not get reimbursed for, and that you cannot sell it and make a profit. This house is OUR inheritance, and you are basically just asking us to give you close to $100,000 just because. It was never intended to be like that, so we are not comfortable compromising with what grandpa and grandma originally wanted for us 3. You are currently getting money from the death of our grandparents, we get nothing BUT the house you are living in. If you want it, then you are welcome to buy it, just at full price.

Charity------------------------------

One last thing. Would you be willing to let us sell the home and take the exact money and buy a different home in, say Washington City, somewhere off the cliff, and live there until we die?

Thanks for thinking about it. 

Denise Poulsen

Tamy

Please help me understand. I thought you girls would be happy with money now and then not worry about the house. If we had offered 60,000 would it had made a difference. Grandpa had told me the 50,000 for the missionary fund had come right from my money, not the grand kids money. My mistake if you thought it also came from you. We had planned on putting the house for sale and getting off the hill, maybe closer to town, the hospital, temple, stores. But, we are also very happy here. So it is all good. I had hoped that doing this would start to heal broken hearts, but again, no. Please help me understand. Thank you. 

I have been struggling with writing this, honestly this last week has been extremely hard. You probably think we were ignoring you in truth we were fighting amongst ourselves, as sisters, as friends, as spouses. Is it about the money, yes no. When this all started we were told numerous times from grandpa that this house was an investment for our family futures. He also told us he regretted forcing us three into buying a house for you. He did not want us to have the cash but he wanted us to have an investment. We have been trying to honor his wishes and at times it has been hard. 

Honestly I want out, because of the money? no because of the stress it is causing me and my sisters. But I cannot in good conscious for me or my family take less than what was intended for our future. You stated you did not want to talk about the will or money and we respected that. However that did not stop us from hearing what was received and how your sisters have been sharing their money with their kids and grandkids. Again non of my business to each their own.

I know that scotty asked for help at Christmas and you said no, so I stepped in. Does it hurt me to know if I needed $1000 could I call and ask my mom for the money she would say no? DEEPLY. Again not about the money.

Are we surprised grandpa changed his will and we got nothing? yes. Are we surprised you don’t want to share with us? no. Are we sad that you don’t want to share or trust us with that information? yes, we are deeply hurt. Are we sad our kids don’t have a close relationship with their grandparents like we did growing up? You have no idea how hurt, sad, devastated we are by this. Are we confused how you were raised by the most generous mother I have ever known and yet you don't want to share? We are so confused and hurt. Again not about the money. Are we jealous and hurt to watch our Aunts take their grown kids and grandkids on vacations? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT HURTS. As you notice i am not on facebook anymore, partially I cannot handle watching my aunts and their families relationships. Again not about the money.

I am deeply saddened and mad to see how you did not support us as your daughters especially Charity during the last year. I know it must be difficult to watch your parents die, but IT IS NOT OK TO WATCH YOUR DAUGHTER BEING ATTACKED and do nothing about it. Again not about the money.

If you truly want to go down this long dark road to mending relationships we are open to family counseling with a professional. However you may not like what we have to say. We are not trying to mean, just real. If you want to own the house we can only accept fair value, will this help start the process, yes. Are we willing to sale and buy a new house? probably not. We are trying not to make emotional decisions to business transactions. 

Dear Tamy and girls

According to Scott Kidman, I have been bad by not replying to your email. Thank you so much for explaining your position with all of this. Please let me know if any of this changes. 

The only contact I have had with Charity and her family since dad's funeral has been from Scott and his vicious text and messages. You can't image how hurt and how much pain I have been in thinking, not even knowing, if my children need me, but refuse to talk with me. I miss talking to Charity every day. I miss knowing what is going on. I miss it all. 

But she told me that she was not ready to talk to me, so I am waiting for her to be okay talking with me. I did not know, and I was never asked for money. 

Tamy, this whole mess is about money. I love you girls, but I am willing to wait until someone misses me and wants to talk with me. 

I think I am a kind and caring, loving person. I don't believe I am any thing that Scott Kidman has accused me of being. But, if that is how all of you see me, then okay. I would not want to be with anyone like that either. 

But can't you look back at your live and see how much I have loved you three and how much I have given up to you and for you? 

I am sorry for any pain I have caused. It would have been by accident because I would never on purpose hurt those that I love so much. 

I stand by, waiting, to talk and be with any of my children and grandchildren. I love you all, but, apparently, none of you know who I am. I like who I am. I try each day to be better and to love more.  

I do love you. I am sorry. Anytime anyone wants to talk or come and visit, just say. 

Love you all 

mom

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From Tamy

I didn’t want to respond to you in the first place because everything is never your fault.
The money is the topic not the issue. The issue is you don’t trust us or defend us you never have.
I wasn’t waiting for a response, I have not talked to Scotty or charity about this except to say you didn’t want to buy the house at fair market value.
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Okay, now I understand. It is all my fault, but I don't take responsibility. Now that I understand, I won't be fighting this any more. I can not change the past. All we can do is heal, forgive and move forward. I will for that day. For now, Reese and I plan to live and find joy and peace, and love. 

Reese and I talked and talked and talked. I am sure that Tamy remembers her past and the attacks that I didn’t know about and didn’t protect her from. I didn’t get the police involved or prosecute. I am sure that is how I failed her, and now she is seeing it again with Charity and me not protecting her. But, no matter what happens now, I can not change the past. We just have to pled with the Lord for forgiveness for all of my mistakes and plead for forgiveness from my children. I am not sure it will happen in this life time. And I miss my children and my grandchildren. There are no words strong enough that I know of to express the pain in my heart. So, I will just keep praying and forgiving and living.